The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.

Either he's dead or my watch has stopped.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.

I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

Aloha!

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms.

I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

There is more #@*%!ity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowar#@*%!e of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.

Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.

I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.

I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.